If you’re a Southern Hemisphere rugby fan, then the time for smack talking is over.  It’s time for everyone to sit at the bar, shut the hell up, and start watching the Tri Nations tournament!

In order to explain the Tri-Nations to the Gonzo Report’s new readers, I’ll hand over duties to the estimable Alternative Rugby Commentary commentarian, Jed Thian. (Note: these video embeds are done out of respect for Mr. Thian and his mad skillz, and do not constitute an endorsement of my little experiment
by him. )

The yearly international tournament held between New Zealand, South Africa and Australia, is poised to kick off this weekend at Auckland, New Zealand’s Eden Park – with the Springboks facing down the All Blacks.

This year the I’d like to say the All Blacks are poised to take it all, as they start the 15-month march to the World Cup. However, if you look at the statistics since the 2003 World Cup, the series has nearly drawn even, with New Zealand leading it 8-7. But in 2009, the Springboks blanked the All Blacks, sweeping all three games. And they play three games again in this year’s Tri-Nations series.  Statistically the All Blacks should win one, if not two of the matches – since they host two of the three matches this year.  But if there has been one team that has been able to slow down the All Blacks power rugby attack in recent history, it’s been the Springboks, who look to repeat their success this year.

If New Zealand can get past the Springboks this year, they will have a strong chance to win the tournament.  In the same time period, since the ‘03 World Cup, the All Blacks have dominated the Australia Wallabies series, 14 wins to 3.