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This Just In. Guinness Premiership Rugby Changes Name to WTF Rugby

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The English Premiership Rugby competition announced yesterday that it had reached a four-year, 20-million Pound deal to change it’s name from the Guinness Premiership to the Aviva Premiership starting next year.

According to Mark McCafferty, Chief Executive of Premiership Rugby, (emphasis mine)

“A title sponsorship deal with Aviva, which is such a strong international consumer brand, is another significant milestone in the growth of Premiership Rugby and provides us with a long term partnership commitment to our sport and to our work in the community”.

Ah yes, that strong international consumer brand of Aviva.  Why, as soon as you read this, I’m sure you (much like I did when I read it) said the same thing.

Who the hell is Aviva?

And to replace Guinness, which has become quite synonymous with rugby, with an insurance company. That makes perfect sense.  There’s nothing better than sitting at the pub, watching a match and immediately thinking

By Buddha’s sweaty balls! I need to buy some insurance!

Yeah, much better than

I need another Guinness!

Sit Down and Drink Up! It’s Tri Nations Time!

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If you’re a Southern Hemisphere rugby fan, then the time for smack talking is over.  It’s time for everyone to sit at the bar, shut the hell up, and start watching the Tri Nations tournament!

In order to explain the Tri-Nations to the Gonzo Report’s new readers, I’ll hand over duties to the estimable Alternative Rugby Commentary commentarian, Jed Thian. (Note: these video embeds are done out of respect for Mr. Thian and his mad skillz, and do not constitute an endorsement of my little experiment
by him. )

The yearly international tournament held between New Zealand, South Africa and Australia, is poised to kick off this weekend at Auckland, New Zealand’s Eden Park – with the Springboks facing down the All Blacks.

This year the I’d like to say the All Blacks are poised to take it all, as they start the 15-month march to the World Cup. However, if you look at the statistics since the 2003 World Cup, the series has nearly drawn even, with New Zealand leading it 8-7. But in 2009, the Springboks blanked the All Blacks, sweeping all three games. And they play three games again in this year’s Tri-Nations series.  Statistically the All Blacks should win one, if not two of the matches – since they host two of the three matches this year.  But if there has been one team that has been able to slow down the All Blacks power rugby attack in recent history, it’s been the Springboks, who look to repeat their success this year.

If New Zealand can get past the Springboks this year, they will have a strong chance to win the tournament.  In the same time period, since the ‘03 World Cup, the All Blacks have dominated the Australia Wallabies series, 14 wins to 3.

Springboks Confirm Worst-Kept Rugby Secret

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In a confirmation of what might have been the worst-kept secret in international rugby, the South African Rugby Football Union has today confirmed that the Springboks-New Zealand All Blacks Tri-Nations match on August 21, will be taking place in the newly minted “Soccer City” in Soweto.  And shortly thereafter, the stadium’s name will be changed to “Rugby Stud City”
.

Let’s just hope the Springboks are a little more serious with keeping their set plays hidden from the All Blacks before game time…

HBO’s “Real Sports” Highlights Rugby Star Gareth Thomas

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Last month, I stumbled across an episode of HBO’s acclaimed video series “Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel,” where correspondent Bernie Goldberg was featuring Welsh rugby star Gareth Thomas. The focus of the feature was on Thomas’ sexual orientation. Thomas is the first openly gay athlete who is currently participating in any professional sports competition.

You can find a short excerpt of the video here.

Where might you find the Gonzo Rugby Report this year?

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I’ve just been looking over the domestic rugby schedule for the next year, en route to a hopeful 2011 Rugby World Cup media appearance, and in addition to blogging about the international rugby scene I want to attend a few tournaments as writing warm ups.  Among them are:

2010 High Desert Rugby Classic – October 16-17, Albuquerque, N.M. (A southwest classic!)

2011 USA Sevens International Tournament – February 12-13, Las Vegas, Nev.

2011 Churchill Cup – Summer 2011, Denver, Colo.

And other matches to be determined.

Collegiate, Grassroots Approach Needed to Expand Rugby in US

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So a reporter from Reuters bumped into USA Rugby’s men’s national team head coach, Eddie O’Sullivan (of course he’s Irish!  What, with a name like that you thought he was from Chile maybe?? 😉 ) and the two of them talked about how rugby has grown in the United States since O’Sullivan had previously been in the U.S. in the ’90’s. I’ll leave you to read the story, which is a fascinating read because O’Sullivan really gets that in the U.S. people are invested in collegiate sports.

Unlike in other parts of the world where high performance athletic centers, or sporting colleges where athletes can really hone their sporting craft before (hopefully) moving into the professional ranks, in the U.S. everyone seems to go through the college system.  And for those of us who aren’t athletes of this caliber, we still get to cheer on our alma mater – which gives us somewhat of an identity in the sporting world. (For instance, if you look at the teams I cheer for you’ll find that I’m connected to the UNM Lobos, the All Blacks, USA Rugby and the Buffalo Bills.  And I find an ability to discuss, debate, or faux-argue with my friends based on these affiliations.  And there are others out there who take their fandom ever more seriously.)

It’s an integral part of Americana that is woven through our society.  And in the past, rugby peeps have tried to shoehorn Americans into the Club Rugby model – where people would be interested in supporting the club from their local town, city, or childhood home.  That model doesn’t work out here, much to my chagrin. So again, it’s nice to see O’Sullivan talking about how to focus on what works in America, as opposed to how to force Americans into the model for the rest of the world.

And Some Round-Ball News: Uruguay’s Suarez Lucks the Hell Out!

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This in from ESPN, Uruguay soccer forward Luis Suarez, the one who punched the ball out of the goal in Uruguay’s quarterfinal match against Ghana (and also now known as one of the most despised men in Africa) has received a one game suspension for his actions. Meaning he’ll be out of the game when Uruguay loses to the Netherlands on Tuesday.

Dude, you lucked out! That was an action that kept Ghana from moving on in the World Cup, because that ball would have gone in the goal for sure.  And to get a one-game suspension, and no future FIFA game suspensions, is a very light sentence indeed.

But come on Suarez, if you want to use your hands, just make the jump and play rugby.  Uruguay Rugby could use someone of your cunning on the pitch.

Is This Team USA’s Year?

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To do what, one asks?

To go all the way and win the Rugby World Cup, the deluded fan responds.

Well then. In that case:

No.

I love USA Rugby, I’d love nothing more than to see the Eagles captain hoist the William Webb Ellis trophy high before the vanquished. But there is no way in hell that’s going to happen in my lifetime – and since I have plans to live to be 150, that’s going to be a long time.

So no RWC championships for the US, but take heart Eagles fans – this could be the year the U.S. racks up a couple of wins in pool play, and might even squeak by with a World Cup 2015 prequalification slot (with a whole lot of luck!) I don’t see them making it into the quarters or beyond.

The Eagles are in pool C, which I don’t know if you can qualify as the “Pool of Death” or not, but you have Australia, Ireland, Italy, Russia and the U.S. in this pool.  The U.S. beat Russia 39-22 in the recent Churchill Cup Tournament in the U.S., so we can probably look for a victory here. Australia is going to beat the U.S. like a brothel with back payments to the head pimp, and Ireland probably will as well, though by not as much.

The key match for the U.S. will be on Sept. 27, 2011 against Italy.  Italy is a growing rugby power in Europe – having competed for many years in the Six Nations tournament, facing off with Scotland, Wales, France, Ireland and England on a yearly basis.  However, they are also considered the lightweight team of the tournament, usually only racking up a win or two.  It would take some work, and some strong luck, but I think the U.S. might be able to pick off the Italians in 2011 and land a solid third place in pool play.

Third place won’t move the team on to the next round, but it will be a step up for a USA team that plays with a lot of pride, and has always set the bar at a realistic “We want to win a match in pool play” goal.

Why Rugby?

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Reaching back to a 2006 post on my other blog, I found this post touching on why I love rugby and I thought it was appropriate to repost it here and now. – B

—–

(A shout out to my friends who have asked this…)

The quick answer is “why not”? It’s fun!

The longer answer: It started many years (and about 60 pounds) ago when I was in college. After one summer (when I drove to Boston and back for no reason), I found myself with a lot of spare time and nothing much to do except work out.

Fast forward to the end of the summer. I returned to college and ran into a friend of mine in the gym one day. He was surprised at how much more I was in shape and he recommended I try out for the team. So, I walked out to the field the next day.

It was love at first hit.

Yes there were no pads in the game, no helmets. That was one of the greatest things about the game. The other was the team.

The team was excited to have another victim… er, player, on the field. They were happy to have me out there with them. We became very tight knit, we were happy to be on the field and just enjoyed each other’s camaraderie. We even hung out with our opponents after the game, we got along great because we all played what we considered to be the greatest game on Earth.

Unlike when I went out for football in high school, where they didn’t want to be around each other.

The sociality (is that a word?) of the team and the game kept me coming back. Plus I got to go to exciting places like Wales and Australia as a result of my time on the rugby field.

Will I ever stop?

Nope. You’ll have to peel me off the field.

We’ve Come a Long Way Since ‘96

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The New Zealand Herald reports that should the New Zealand All Blacks fulfill their destiny and win the 2011 Rugby World Cup (held in New Zealand, even) the NZ Rugby Union will pay NZ$ 100,000 to each player.

Quote:

The Collective Agreement between the New Zealand Rugby Union and the Players’ Association, which was formally ratified yesterday, sets in stone a payment of $100,000 to each member of the All Blacks squad should they win next year’s showpiece event.

Should they make the final at Eden Park and lose, they will receive $35,000 each. Just to prove there’s no such thing as a bronze medal in rugby, anything less than second equals $0.

As if the All Blacks needed any more incentive to want to win the World Cup.  Now if there’s a team that knows how to not squander the complete home-field advantage they will have in 2011, it’s the All Blacks.

But more importantly, it’s hard to believe that prior to 1996 rugby was still an amateur sport.  Moving into the professional era was one of the best things that rugby could do, it kept the best rugby players in the sport and they could finally earn incentives like this without having to worry about losing their playing eligibility.